Archive for March, 2009

Screwed over Times TWO

March 22, 2009

OK I have started noticing a trend of late at work. The live bands are playing later and later each evening to the point its well past the time the restaurant floor closes. The other weekend nite the band played til just before 1 am for example. The kitchen closes at 10 pm weekdays and 11 pm weekends. This is when I consider the restaurant to be closed. Makes sense right you are CLOSED when you no longer serve the FOOD, right? I give the diners 1 hour past that time and then I consider them to be taking up my own personal time.

Why you ask? If you come in and dine with me the meal alone is large enough you cant drink steadily for more than 2-3 hours – you simply wont have the room. I have 3 years of observational experience on this –>99% of our guests arent a group of cocktail swilling parties who arrive just before closing ready to drink massive volumes of drinks. This level of drinking is necessary for the tips involved to make it profitable for the server.

Rem–>its the tail end of our shift so mentally we are in the tub/shower/hot tub or already salivating over the 1st post shift cocktail. The onluy think worse than being run to death by some drunks getting drunker is to hang around with feet all a throbbing and muscles aching getting some single table of douchebags 1-4 drinks per HOUR. That means lots of standing while staring death ray eyes at the perpetrators of our torment. Do the math –> $2.13 /hr plus tips on 4 drinks at $6-9 or $24-36 times 15% or $3-5 per hour. This would be ok if you had a section of tables but this usually ends up being 1 table or 1 person at a few tables. SO you want me to linger for $3-5 an hour -rem the $2.13 /hr all go to the tax man.

I also mentioned to my chef friend if he planned to stay open late he needs to schedule a crew of late arriving cocktail servers who would take over the restaurant floor.


Let me give a real life example of the douchebags I get to deal with during the final hours. A pair of black ladies arive but their table is set for 4. The bitchy one can barely stop her texting long enough to place her drink order. Other gal orders then the other one chimes in they will wait to oder for the other 2 to arrive. Mind you they arrived at 9 PM and the kitchen closes at 10 PM. I finish up with my other tables, roll silverware, and doing closing side work.

I go by the table and get an order for another round and mention the kitchen closes in 30 min. They decide to order-I get their drinks and return for their dinner order. Bitchy gal orders for her and her unarrived guest. Other gal just orders her food and refused to order her guest a plate. The bitchy gal orders plates that take 20-30 min to make when made from scratch like they will be done at the end of the shift.

A coworker runs their food and Bitchy gal asked for another plate of 20-30 min cook time food. I few minutes go by and I make a table visit and learn of her desire. Kitchen offers to cook other chicken parts besides breast which cuts the cook time to 12 or so minutes. They need to filter the oil in the fryers so they are NOT willing to tie up the fryer for any longer as they want to go home too.

Kitchen offer is made to Bitchy gal but she refuses. Mind you its now 10:15 PM the ‘ladies’ have been here 75 min and no guests. The guest plate is just getting cold on the table-guys arrive at 10 :45 PM and one of em devours her plates remains plus his in 10-15 min.

Bitchy gal pays for the table and thats not a good sign.
I pick up the book after they left and the credit receipt is all thats in there and its folded over so the tip amount is hidden. Another bad sign-thats done when you dont want your significant other from seeing the tip/total or your screwing over the server.

Yeah you guessed it –>STIFFED on $126 plus an hour and a half of my life is GONE just plain wasted dealing with her crap. I tip out 3.75% of sales so I paid $4.73 for the pleasure of her company to boot.


Shit happens to Food Service Ninja#1 aka A week in the Life of FSN

March 16, 2009

New feature to the Blog here!!!

I havent had a lot of story worth events of late so I had an epiphany during lunch when asked for the “special” gumbo. So I will list the odd or chuckle worthy events or things overhead or observed here. Partial cred goes to Ribeye the Raging Server who posts weekly names he hears at his job.

1. See below self-rendition of a credit card receipt I got recently-with adoring fans like this I will be qualifying for food stamps all too SOON!


Guest: I would like to get an order of gumbo to go
Me : Sure. No problem.
Guest: Wait a sec. I need you to give it to me w/o the seafood. They did it for us last time!
Me: (Mental Eyeroll) Are you familar with how beef stew is made?
Me :Can you remove the beef from it after its cooked?
Guest: Err…no?!?
Me: I suspect last time they had the cooks ladle the gumbo so as to avoi large chuncks of seafood. Its cooked with the seafood in it and there is NO way to fully remove it.

Usually you get the I want the gumbo but no alligator in it or the okra. Gator looks like chicken when slow cooked in liquid. The dark roux base(oil and flour) stains the gato and chicken into the same color. Okra is the main thickening agent in gumbo besides gumbo file. File is a powder made from crushed sassafras leaves.

3. How is it as an opener at lunch I get stuck being a closer at every lunch when our well to do older hostess works? She has figured out doubles get cut early?!?

4. Why do I have to pay full tip share on Sunay nights when the sole busser on duty does as little as physically possible. I conservately estimate he does 33% ofwork any of the other bussers we have who do. They ROCK so prob come to 50% of the typical busser does .